Sorrow that the eye can't see

The role and purpose of trials and hardship as part of human development is well documented and addressed at lenth by prophets and apostles since the beginning of time.  Spiritual refinement comes from the heat of hardships.  As the dross of the natural man is purged we become sanctified and more like God Himself.

Trials and tribulations come in many forms and are received differently by every person.  But the trials of life that are the most severe and therefore the most pronounced in their forces, either for good or for bad, are the sorrows that the eye can't see.  In hymn #220 we ask God to help us not to judge another because we never know of the sorrows that the eye can't see that are hidden in the quiet heart.  Judging others based on these things we can't see or understand is an unrighteous act but conversely, ignoring those that have no visible trials is unworthy of a disciple of the Lord.

We have fallen into a state of contentment that says the only problems people experience are health problems.  Unless we have lived a live of obvious neglect and abuse, health problems are seen as an act of God.  We rally around those who have fallen into ill health by no fault of their own.  The ravages of cancer, heart disease, or other potentially terminal illnesses are harrowing for mortal man and he is blessed by friends and family that can see his suffering and minister to his needs.  Many lives have been touched and many blessings received by those who both give and receive service during these times.

Trials meant for the refinement of man come in other forms as well. Examples may be sorrow over the choices of children, siblings, or other loved ones.  Sometimes economic calamity is the tool of choice used by Heavenly Father.

Somehow people don't view these as "real trials".  They were brought upon us by bad choices, bad parenting skills, bad social skills, or bad financial management.  If these sorrows or trials are seen at all by others they are viewed as self-inflicted and therefore not worthy of the succor that "acts of God" are entitled.

My journey through economic and financial trials has taught me that nothing can be further from the truth.  After much thought, planning, and prayer I embarked on a business venture.  I think my goals were righteous.  I wanted to provide for my family.  I wanted to have enough retirement income to serve missions with my wife.  I made business plans and opened a branch of a mortgage company.  Although I had laid the best of plans and sincerely believed in my abilities, ultimately the actions of an unscrupulous owner closed the company and destroyed my branch and I lost all the money I had put into it.

As I searched for a new job we began to struggle mightily.  I had borrowed and spent my savings to get the business off the ground and it had failed.  All those obligations weighed on me and I did all in my power to find employment and begin to address my financial needs.  I followed the programs of the church.  I attended their career workshops and Monday morning networking sessions.  I felt that I had always been faithful in paying my tithing so surely the Lord would bless my efforts and help me find a job.

I tried to keep my mind open and pursue whatever opportunities presented themselves.  Months passed with no results.  I wasn't even successful at getting interviews for jobs.  It was during this time of turmoil and intense searching and pondering that we began to contemplate opening a restaurant.  Not wanting to make the same mistakes again and wanting to help insure success I began a very intense planning process.  My business plan was much more detailed, my market research was much more thorough, and my reliance on and the direction of the Lord was much more heart-felt.  As a result of all this effort plans changed several times.  I truly felt guided by the hand of the Lord.

Amazing things seemed to fall into place and I felt the Lord was now blessing us and my financial trials would be coming to an end.  I could talk about all the things that happened during the planning, opening, and running of our restaurant.  We felt the Spirit of the Lord on many occassions but in the end the business failed leaving me completely destiture.  I had spent every penny of retirement savings I had besides tens of thousands of dollars from each of four siblings and my parents.  The result was the filing of bankruptcy.  I had fallen to the bottom of the economic pit.

At the depth of my despair, through the love and concern of my brother, I was able to get a job in Las Vegas.  This job did not pay what I had earned before but it was a good job that paid a reasonable amount and gave me a pathway to begin escaping my financial bondage.

Bankruptcy protected me and excused me from all my debt except my house and truck.  We needed a house to live in and a mode of transportation in order to work.  This was a great blessing but not the end of our troubles.  We needed to move our family to Las Vegas.  We needed a deposit and rent on a home in Las Vegas before we could get any rent from our West Valley home.  My income alone still did not provide enough for rent, utilities, and food.

My wife needed to find a job which is a difficult thing to do in Las Vegas and we fell behind again as the search continued.  She found a part-time minimum wage job that helped for awhile until she found full-time work.

The process of closing the business, moving to Las Vegas, and her getting full-time work took about four months.  At the end of that four months we could actually begin the climb out and get to a point that we can meet our monthly obligations.  That process will take another four months.

During this time of financial distress we tried to become involved in our new ward.  We accepted callings and got to know many people.  We assisted those that were having trials all the while in our hearts were hidden the sorrows that the eye can't see.  Our first Thanksgiving was very sad for us.  We had all our children in Las Vegas but no money to buy a nice Thanksgiving Dinner.  Thanksgiving dinners were given to several in our ward but we, who were in great need, were passed over.  There were also no Christmas gifts.  Nothing for our kids, nothing for each other, and nothing for anyone else.  Thankfully our children are adults now and could understand our plight.

There will be those that say you should have said something.  But in my mind a cursory evaluation of our situation would be revealing.  A family that is broke, out of work, and forced to relocate to Las Vegas likely isn't going to be very financially secure.

Those with visible trials never have to ask for help.  When you go to the hospital or undergo surgery, the needs are recognized and service is rendered. 

My desire now is to be more aware of the sorrows that the eye can't see.  There are many that are in need of succor but we never know it.  Search these people out.